Missing in Action ( Again)

Crikey I didn't realise it's been nearly 3 months since my last post - how time flies.
Well what a lot has happened in those months.
I've gained a huge amount of weight taking me back to and over my original starting weight. Had a really crappy birthday so started comfort eating because of it, I just now need to retrain my brain and get back to normal.
I lost Thomas in April due to a longstanding illness, that upset me and I stopped eating for 3 days but then of course I felt hungry as the mourning wore off and ate myself to excess.
Need to get a diet plan sorted and get back on my exercise bike before this mega hot summer comes otherwise I'll be hiding indoors for months - I'm not going to scare the British public by wearing shorts in town !! ha ha

missing in action .......

Oops its been 3 weeks since my last post. I am still here don't worry. I've had a bit of a turbulent couple of weeks starting off my with dad being rushed back into hospital. He had a suspected heart attack in October last year and has been on medication to try and sort him out, unfortunately he had another funny turn 3 weeks ago. After some more tests he was told he had extensively blocked arteries and would need to have a stent put in to clear/open them up.
I am pleased to say that he had the operation yesterday but he had to have 3 stents put in as 3 arteries were blocked. Slightly worrying considering you only have something like 4 arteries going in and out of your heart to start with !!! No wonder he was poorly.

So I've been worried about my dad's health which has taken it's toll on my eating regime and I know my weight has gone up and down for the last couple of weeks. Not sure what my weight is this week as the batteries have gone in the weighing scales !!!!

I fear that if I don't get back on track that I may lose my motivation altogether, despite my dad's health scare being the perfect kick I really need I just don't seem bothered which worries me more than anything !! It also doesn't help that I am still hindered with my vertigo as I cannot get any exercise done without feeling worse which although I should carry on and push myself I don't like then spending the rest of the week stuck in bed.

Me thinks me needs to get this weekend out of the way then make a fresh start on Monday. It's only 7 weeks till my birthday so I've got that to aim for.

Britain's Got Talent????

Had a fantastic day out yesterday. My mum got free tickets to sit in the audience for the Manchester leg of Britain's Got Talent filmed at the Lowery Centre.
After standing in the queue for over 2 hours we were finally let in at 12.30 ( doors were meant to open at 11.15 ). We were then told they were having technical difficulties so would be starting at 2pm. They joked that Simon wasn't quite orange enough and was undergoing various spray tans to get him to the colour of "Tangerine Dream"
We were sat up in the Gods - that place is high !!!! but we could see everything that was going on - unfortunately my camera on my phone hasn't got a fantastic zoom so the pics are very distorted but I have the memories !!!

I'm not going to spoil it by telling you what the acts were except for one which nearly killed the poor fellow.
Now you all know that if the judges don't like the act they buzz them off. The buzzer is loud enough to wake the dead and everytime the judges used it the entire audience jumped out of their skin.
This one guy was doing a trick with knives, part of his act entailed him doing a handstand then picking up a knife with his mouth, just at the crucial time Piers buzzed him out. Well from the angle we were watching it looked like this poor chap had slipped and stabbed himself in the head, the audience gasped there was deadly silence as the man ......... flipped back ...........upright unharmed, everyone cheered for him.
But like I say I'm not going to spoil it by telling you who got through.

First weigh in.....

Well yesterday was weigh day and yippee I've lost 4 pounds so I'm now back to my pre Christmas weight !! I've stuck to the Paul McKenna way of eating which for those who haven't watched his show is a simple 4 steps.
1. Eat when you are hungry.
2. Eat what you want not what you should. ( chuck away diet faddy foods )
3. Eat consciously ( slowly taking your time to savour your food )
4. When you feel full stop.
I've eaten the same foods as I would normally ie potatoes, pasta, pizza, cake, chocolate, but found that I'm not clearing my plate because I'm feeling full whereas before I would shovel it in and feel bloated about 15 minutes later.

So onward and upward ( or should that be downward ?!?!? ) I'm carrying on doing this way of eating and will now be throwing some exercise in the mix.

Doctors recommendations.....

I went to Preston hospital on Thursday for my appointment to get me rehabilitated back onto this planet ! For the last 5 years I've had vertigo which has meant that not only do I sway and spin but the world around me does too. I've felt like I've been living on planet Joanne because no-one else knows what its really like, the closest I can get to describing it is being completely drunk all of the time but without the fun. I've finally had a diagnosis as it what causes it which is very complicated but the simple explanation is your eyes, ears, feet and brain keep you balanced. My ears have failed so I've been relying on my eyes to keep me level. Unfortunately if I move my head quickly or I'm in the dark it knocks me off my balance and I fall over !

I've now got some eye exercises to do over the next 4 weeks before I go back and get the next set.

I've also been given the go-ahead to start exercising again, thank god, and its my judgement what I do and when. However if it makes me dizzy then it is actually helping my senses re-adjust themselves but I have not to overdo it... easier said than done I either go at stuff gung-ho or not at all.

I have to try and do something everyday even if its just housework but also remember to rest.

Talk about contradiction - no wonder my head spins !!!

So I've decided that to start off with I'll be walking in the field behind my house, normally I have to walk about half of a mile to get in the field which leaves me feeling dizzy before I start, but as my fence has disappeared overnight ( due to the gale force winds ) I now have a quick access route through my garden which makes me feel better knowing that I can get home if anything should happen.

So I'm armed with my pedometer and aiming for 5000 steps today. Hey I know its a long way off the 10,000 I'm supposed to do but I've been averaging 2000 a day since I was signed off sick.

Snow place like home.....

Well what a suprise we had this morning. We've had some snow, it wasn't forecast so dilema for Darren having to drive to work but nice for me because I got to stay in bed !

I've taken to the Paul McKenna way of eating. Its really easy and I think its working. I've lost that bloated feeling. I've even got Darren trying it but he's struggling taking his time.
I'm loving the fact I can eat anything and am really hoping it does pay off but I won't be jumping on the scales till Sunday.

So I stayed snuggled up in bed till about 9.30 then decided to venture out into the cold bleak house in search of cat & food. Found Thomas fast asleep on the digi box - its the warmest thing in the living room so left him to it. Had breakfast which was a small bowl of blueberry shredded wheat and semi skimmed milk.
Braved the bathroom for a shower - imagine having a hot shower in a fridge freezer. Not sure which is worse, stripping off in a cold room and then getting "burnt" by warm water because your body temperature has dropped so much that luke warm water is like having a scolding hot kettle poured over you or having a nice warm shower only to get dry and dressed in a cold room that you can see your breath !!
Decided on a bit of reverse therapy at dinner time so went for a walk in the snow laiden field behind the house. Worked a treat not only did I get some fresh air but when I got back home I was so cold that the house felt toasty warm.
Had my dinner a lovely celery soup that I had lurking in the back of the freezer, very nice!
Visited my grandma for her birthday when Darren got home so decided on something quick for tea and had a pizza. Again felt full after eating it slowly so managed to cut out the chips and garlic bread. Did have enough room for a jam doughnut though !! tut tut.

Well tomorrow is my first rehabilitation session to try and get my Vertigo cured. I haven't the faintest idea whats going to be involved or how long the sessions will last. The only downside is that I have to traipse all the way to Preston for it because my local hospital couldn't find out what was up with me despite me telling them !!!!! They just didn't want to know the simple things but instead wanted to find something bigger and more interesting that was wrong with me ... so they failed. Glad my mum can take me otherwise I just wouldn't be able to get there.

Lets see what happens.

And we're off....

I did really well yesterday until Darren came home from work.
I got up and had 2 pieces of toast and a cup of tea ( no sugar ). I then spent 2 hours tidying up the back bedroom to get it ready so I can finish decorating it. I started wallpapering 12 months ago and have never finished it. My mother in law is coming to visit at the end of this month so I want to have it all nice for her arrival.
I then had my dinner which was a sandwich and another cup of tea. Had one of my minor dizzy spells so spent the rest of the day on the computer catching up with missed TV programmes and emails that have built up over Christmas.
Tea was kind of healthy, fish finger, mash and beans but then downfall and on day one as well !!! My mum had bought Darren a Simpsons "doh"nut machine for Christmas and he's been dying to try it out, so we did. Thanksfully it only makes mini "doh"nuts and we only used half the batter. So I'm not feeling too guilty over it.

I then sat down at watched Paul McKenna I can make you thin. This weeks lesson is to eat what you want when you want. Just eat in moderation and take your time. Right I'll have a bash at this as no food is forbidden.
So this morning I made my usual size bowl of porridge and followed Paul's instruction of eating without distraction and to put the spoon/fork down in between bites and chew for 20 times to savour what you're eating. Well for the first time I actually felt full and didn't finish it all.
I also followed this at dinner time with my bowl of pasta. I finished that but didn't feel the need for a packet of crisps and a bar of chocolate afterwards.
Lets see what happens at tea time when Darren the human dustbin comes home ! He cannot bear to throw food away and eats each meal like its his last. Blink and his plate is clear.
So if it means me eating in another room then so be it.

Time for me to shift my arse....

Right this is the year I am going to lose weight. I know I've said this every year since I started gaining weight back when I was 21 years old but I'm going to be 30 this year and I don't want to be fat anymore.
I turn 30 in late March so that gives me about 11 weeks to shift a few pounds or a couple of stone. Preferably the 2nd.
I can't afford slimming classes as I don't work so I'll have to rely on healthy eating plans in magazines and common sense not to eat a full packet of biscuits when I'm watching TV.
I have a couple of exercise DVD's which I have dusted off... ahem.... I will also hopefully be going for walks in the evening with Darren once it gets lighter and warmer.
I have a couple of stepping stone goals to ease me into the swing of things. My first small step is to lose the 4 pounds I put on over Christmas. Once that's done I'll work out another one.
My first major goal is to get under 16 stone. The last time that happened was at Christmas 2005 but that was due to illness but it made me feel better seeing it on the scales.
The next big goal will be to get to the weight I was when I first met Darren which I think should be achievable by my birthday and hopefully means I can fit back into the pair of jeans I wore on our first date.
After that who knows.