Friday 28 November 2014

A little moan about weight loss

Firstly I am very proud of myself let me make that bit clear, I have recently lost 2 stone in weight and feel a hell of a lot better about myself, I've turned into a little bit of a fitness freak and spend most weekends "running"* a good 10 miles at a time, something that I never envisioned doing when I was a fat chubster at school, choosing to avoid PE at all costs in exchange for a walk to the local bakery for pies, butties and cakes ( mmmm cake ) for my dinner.

However, when I was heavier, I had a cracking set of boobs, and plenty of junk in my trunk, so my moan is all about losing my assets.

Firstly where have my tits gone? My once pretty underwear used to show them off to their full potential and now my bras are half empty with saggy boobs cowering away in them. Yes I know I can buy new underwear but that's not the point. I hadn't long bought new matching bra and knickers and by god I want to get my monies worth out them.
Then there's my arse, or rather, there isn't my arse, it's gone, my jeans just hang off the bottom of my back, only held in place with a worn out belt with so many added notches to it I'm surprised it can still call itself a belt! And don't get me started on the rest of my wardrobe. Nothing fits right, jumpers are too baggy, dresses drown me, even my shoes are too bloody big,

The added irony is that I still have a bit more to lose, so what's a girl to do? Until I have achieved my goal - I could just spend my day living in onesies right???

I don't mind wearing them at night to keep warm, or even during the day when it's fancy dress, but I don't think even I'm mad enough to wear them just for the fun of it**

So I guess I'm just going to have to behave myself and hope that Santa brings me a new wardrobe for Xmas, though if all else fails, I'm sure the amount of food consumed on Christmas Day will make at least one item of clothing fit again!

*I run until I get injured which happens quite often, then I shuffle along at a quickened pace until I cave in and walk the rest of the way!

**well maybe just a little bit!

Thursday 13 November 2014

Little Miss Muffet - alternative verses for kids!

So Squiggle came home today singing Little Miss Muffet, and of course he asked what curds and whey were, being the very intelligent mother that I am, I told him it was something to do with cheese. After a quick look on t'internet I found out that it was similar to cottage cheese.
Squiggle asked why didn't the song just say she was eating cheese. I said then it wouldn't rhyme.

Cue a long list of different versions of Little Miss Muffet. These had Squiggle in stitches and I'd like to share them with you!

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet
eating a bowl of cheese,
Along came a spider and sat down beside her
and started to tickle her knees!


Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet
eating a loaf of bread,
Along came a spider he crawled up beside her
and started to dance on her head!


Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet
eating something yum,
Along came a spider and sat down beside her
and started to pinch her bum!


Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet
eating a piece of toast,
Along came a spider and sat down beside her
and said eurgh you've got a bogey up your nose!


Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet
eating a bowl of jelly,
Along came a spider and sat down beside her
and said goodness gracious me, you've got a big belly!


Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet
eating a joint of meat
Along came a spider and sat down beside her
and said phew, you've got smelly feet!





*Thanks to mycutegraphics.com for the images