Thursday, 25 June 2015

Dear Me, I'm sorry

I read this post that a fellow blogger Steph at Tub on the Run wrote last month apologising for not looking after herself properly and felt inspired to write my own after standing on the scales this morning and feeling my heart fall out of the bottom of feet with disappointment.

Dear Me,

I'm so sorry for what I have put you through these last few months. Last year we did really well, we cut down eating crap and started exercising. Every weekend we would go out jogging and even though it was hard in the beginning we were soon running 10 - 13 miles every Saturday and Sunday morning. We might have had a few scrapes, falls and pulled muscles but we did enjoy it.

We also cut down eating crap and within a few moths we'd lost 2 and a half stone and looked and felt fantastic. Yes I had taken up smoking but I was under a lot of stress with the separation.
Now nearly 12 months on and I haven't been kind to you. I no longer go running, the healthy eating has stopped and I'm still smoking. Thankfully I don't drink a lot of alcohol but I do have a nasty Coke habit -  ( Coca-Cola  the fizzy drink not the other type of coke!). The last few weeks for some reason I have found it perfectly acceptable to stuff all kinds of crap food into you despite you telling me that you don't want or can't have any more. You have been screaming at me to stop but I've been like some mad possessed woman hell bent on cramming in as much as I could. 

I stood on the scales this morning, I knew what the outcome was going to be due to the fact that most of my clothes don't fit me anymore, remember all those pretty things we bought last year?, the nice dresses, the smaller sized jeans and the cute tops? well they don't fit very well at the moment, so this is having a knock on effect on your mental state, my self indulgence is now making you feel down in the dumps, I am truly sorry for doing this to you.
Well today was the last straw, the shock of standing on the scales and the horror of not even fitting into my fat jeans has motivated me to do something about it.

So body, mind and soul be prepared for a few tough months as we kick things back into touch. It's going to be hard cutting down on the sugar and fat and takeaways but it needs to be done. So today is day one, the fitness apps will be reopened on my phone, the Vivofit will be dusted off and used to track my daily steps and we will be calorie counting again!

I promise that I will look after you this time, and once again I'm sorry.

Love me.