Well I certainly didn't think I would be writing a blog post at this time of night on New Years Eve/Day, I should be out partying with friends or snuggled up with my loved ones at home, but sadly I am in neither of those places. Instead I am on my own, in a single bed ward in hospital overlooking a brick wall, with suspected pancreatitis or intestinal obstruction.
I am currently in so much pain it's unbelievable, and perplexed that me, a chronic IBS diahorrea sufferer has suddenly become seriously constipated overnight!!!!
I have doctors arguing amongst themselves as to whether or not I should be nil by mouth, if it's pancreatitis again, then I should be nil by mouth, so as to give my body a rest, but if it's a blocked bowel then I should be eating and drinking normally in order to get my system moving. All I know is that it hurts to eat and take even a sip of water.
Yet I've been dosed up with laxitives at both ends this evening, and as I hear the new year fireworks start outside I can feel an explosion of my own coming on.
There's tears falling down my face as I spend this new year completely alone, isolated and shut off from the world.
Hopefully things will look brighter in the morning!