People from all walks of life talked about their own experience of feeling lonely. It wasn't all about single people, or all about elderly people ( they did feature in the programme ) but it included people who felt lonely even though they were surrounded by other people and this is what hit me.
|courtesy of Stockfreeimages.com Lonely|
But things didn't really change, my friends that I had left behind had all moved on and got new friends, and even though I had managed to get an internal transfer with work, I was now that weirdo from Lancashire working over in Yorkshire! Having an hours commute at both ends of the day didn't help matters as I couldn't really stay for long after work to socialise so when I did stay, I just felt awkward.
My next major period of loneliness was after the birth of Squiggle when I was in hospital for 9 months. I spent the first 8 weeks in intensive care in an isolation room, my only company was for a few hours a day when my family visited, or when the nurses came to give me my medication or change my dressings. Things didn't get much better when I was moved onto a regular ward, I was still put into a single bed room with no contact with anyone apart from visiting time, feeding time, toilet time you get the idea. After 5 months I was moved into a 4 bed ward as the nurses thought I could use some company, by then I just didn't want to be around anyone. I was still so poorly and still bedridden when I was finally allowed home just before Christmas in 2010. I spent the days on my own with the occasional visit from my grandma, Mr H still had to go to work and Squiggle was given to my family to look after so I was home alone every day.
|courtesy of Stockfreeimages.com Lonely Teddy|
I think I always will.